Welcome back to Cover Snark! We’re also a little low in the Snark pantry, so feel free to send covers to consider to me or Sarah.
From Pam G: So Dr. Nips is back with a truly hideous shirt which he apparently left on when he got the tattoo. Also, where is his left arm?
Sarah: The way the mountain cross fades onto his pec looks contagious.
Amanda: The metal has got to be real cold on that nip.
Sarah: Would the big round part of the stethoscope bend that way on its own or has it fused to his chest??
Sneezy: Wouldn’t that mean he’d need another one? What if that one fuses to him too? How does he keep stethoscopes from fusing to his ears, or is it luck of the draw?
From Jen: The guy looks like he’d rather be elsewhere and the gorilla looks angry.
Sarah: I swear that guy was on The Bachelor.
Is that a Bachelor?
Elyse: His eyes aren’t vacant enough
Sarah: Does he resemble Nick Viall? WHY do I think I’ve seen this person before?
Elyse: Maybe a little? From the nose up.
Sarah: Imagine that as a compliment: “you have Nick Viall’s forehead!”
Elyse: He looks like what AI would produce if you asked it to make a Bachelor
Tara: The gorilla is definitely saying gtfo
Sneezy: He should listen while the gorilla is still speaking nicely.
From Leslie: I love the cover snarks. I don’t know if you have “covered” this one before but submitting one for consideration. Between the side eye and a polar bear. I don’t relate a yeti to a polar bear – but maybe I missed something in college environmental science class in?!
Sarah: OH, gracious. Leslie F has sent us a banger.
Everyone is confused here, especially me.
Maya: Do you think you are supposed to read it as Bearly better yet-I? Like one of the protagonists is barely better from something, yet they…something. Bc I also don’t understand
Sarah: MORE CONFUSION has arrived.
Elyse: They couldn’t afford yeti clip art, so they just went with the bear
Sarah: How much confused yeti stock imagery do you think there is? (Don’t Google that. Your search history deserves peace.)
Amanda: but that’s a polar bear…
even in paranormal romances, the ice caps are melting and the polar bear shifters must travel south for food and boning.
Sarah: Maybe the polar bear ate the yeti and that’s why he looks like he’s about to yark?
Maya: Get ready for a tragic backstory for the polar bear/yeti involving an ice floe and a beloved sibling that in the third act turns out to not be dead
Tara: I can’t even snark this one because I can’t stop laughing.
Sneezy: Said sibling would either have been frozen in an iceberg, or have become a grim dark anti-hero. Amnesia optional.
Amanda: That middle hand is confounding me so much because my brain keeps insisting there are five hands in this cover but there are not. It also looks very big.
Sarah: Even in photography, hands are difficult. This hand makes sense but also doesn’t? It’s very distracting.
Sneezy: I don’t understand how the knife hasn’t tipped over and broke something already. I know I’m nitpicking, but it’s smack dab in the middle of the cover, clearly meant to be a visual and thematic focal point.
